?

At the moment I is going through a cold of sorts. I slept a lot and feel a bit better today.
Has been a very turbulent week, or perhaps months, but certainly culminated this week.
I have had to , and still face LOTS of fear issues and self trust issues. So - walking through every moment - no matter what and it´s painful and very strange - because I experience situations and moments I just never thought Id be able or ever wanted to go through.
So I surprise me sometimes - wow!! - did I say that???? Did I stand then - and actually did that???!
Still fall - get up - cry - walk - fall - bruised - bleeding - cry - stand up - walk! I push through this bastard of a system no matter what it takes. I stop! And I look self honestly within - and I apply self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself

I forgive myself taht I have accepted and allowed myself to judge other beings for judging me and not in that moment realize that I allow loops of judgement and that I is responsible for judgement and noone outside of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience judgement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is possible for anyone to manipulate me - that is impossible - only minds can be manipulated

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others reactions to me and my words of expression in the moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated with another being and in that moment not realize that it is MY frustration I am experiencing and not anything or anyone outside and separate to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lable certain beings as deceptive, false, liars, backstabbing, twofaced instead of realizing that these beigns are mirroring what exist inside me that I have yet to look at that I have accepted and allowed to exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience any reaction within - who I really am is stable - constant - no movement

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about money and how to provide for me and the children

to be continued...