more relationships forgiveness

In the chat today I realized theres still some more layers to relationship issues, so here goes:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unease and freeze inside when a male looks at me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to run, get away from any male that gives me a particular kind of look

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge someone by the look he or she gives me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually believe that there is a difference in some looks compared to others

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to lable some looks from men as looks that says; Id like to get to know you or I´d like to fuck you

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid eyecontact with men

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distance myself from men as a safety barrier to avoid any kindof relationship or avoid giving off "the wrong signals"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe there is such a thing as "wrong signals"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually believe there is such a thing as a safety barrier against anything or anyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear men

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear beign abused by men

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel inferior to men

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel weaker then a male

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by men in any way whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from men

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still have some part inside me somehwere that is still looking for "the one"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissing angry at myself that there still is something inside me somewhere still looking for the illusion called "the one"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear falling inlove

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to let myself go totally and unconditionally in relationships with men

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have memories of past relationships within me when talking to a male and immediately compare him to another man in another relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible to be friends with a male since they inevitably want to fuck you somewhere down the line or at least have the thought inside of what it would be like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually get embarassed about these self forgiveness issues regarding men

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing control of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to somewhere inside long for self intimacy, long for really good sex, the way it "should" be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lable sex as good, bad or average or that it "should" be in a particular way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and the way I look

I forgive myself that I have still not allowed myself to be self intimate with me, to love me unconditionally , to accept me unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse me and not consider myself as important as any other being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the past fantasise about men I have met and what it would be like to be seduced by them creating mini movies in my mind of possible outcomes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get turned on by certain smells such as certain aftershaves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate certain music with memories of relationships in the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider certain males as more attractive than others

I forgive myself that I have got a particular picture in my mind about what a perfect male would look like

Till here no further.
I do not allow my mind to direct me in any way what so ever.
I delete and release all these memories and pictures and thoughts in my mind.
I am life. I direct me. I am life as all as one in oneness and equality.

I do not accept and allow any memories, thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures of and in my mind that is not who I am.
It is done!