the final countdown

Yes- it is here. Or very nearly here - D day for me and this relationship.

With that comes some interesting issues, and i really get to see who I am.

I have come to realize that the preferred outcome would ofcourse be an agreement between the two of us based on oneness and equality where none of us will accept or allow anything less then who we really are.
We are all one and equal, and what is between is systems. I cannot make anyone see this though, I can only apply me and present common sense.

So we will see where we go from here. Although it seems clear to me that he has made his stand- and he does not seem willing to stand up for oneness and equality. So his path to self realization is clearly another one.However - we will face eacother, and communicate about this when he arrives.
I do experience a strange sort of calm. Also, a sadness over the fact that he might chose to not allow himself to wake up - and that is sad. Also an experience of conclution. A beginning and an end.
But I apply me no matter what. I focus on what is at hand, and I walk no matter what.

Very subtle reactions within going on:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the slightest have any fear arising within me regarding money and survival if or when this relationship ends

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually on some level wonder whether he will actually have a few realizations before we meet and be able to apply common sense in his life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder if I might have to let go of the part of me that is him and in that prolong realization for all of us and within that experience sadness and a sense of loss instead of realizing that his process is specific for him

I forgive myself that I have actually allowed and accepted myself to even consider what I could have done or do differently to be able to assist him to wake up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as though I have failed instead of realizing that I focus on me and apply me and that inevitably we will all at some point stand as one and equal and start living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the realization that we are all responsible for one another actually consider myself as not doing enough not being effective enough instead of actually realizing that by me applying me no matter what I am assisting him in his process too

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually feel guilty for not being as effective within process as I would like instead of realising that I am applying me and that it is mind who is telling me I am not efffective enough, or good enough or applying myself totally

Till here no further. I am not my mind, I am not thoughts, feelings, pictures and emotions.
I do not accept or allow my mind to direct me in any way what so ever. I direct me.

I am here in every moment of every breath. I am stability. I am determination. I am focused. I stand up as life as one and equal in oneness and equality.
I am infinite. I am life. I am oneness and equality.
It is done!