What is Love?

Love - a chemical hormonal reaction within your brain that your mind then interprets as desireable and a feeling of being alive?

There can be no better system to entrap and keep human beings pre occupied in their little bubble then that. And you have to give it credit, very well designed for what it was meant to do!

I´m no different. I see now that I was preprogrammed to fall in love, to search for love and I could go to great lenghts to try to experience love, the feeling of falling in love, the feeling of being desired or wanted by someone, the total illusion that you belonged together, that you are worth something, that you ARE someone, that you are apparently ALIVE.
Such a deception.
And the bizarre thing is, it doesn´t seem to matter how many times you fall out of love, how many times you do a crash landing when it ends, you still go on repeating the same shit over and over again.

Loop!

But I see all this now. So for me the loop has ended. I hacked the code!!
I´ve got the tools now to immediately stop that programme.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to search for love and actually believe that love would make me "whole"

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to desire, want and need approval from something or someone outside of me to tell me I am worthy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually believe that I can be lonely

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there would actually be someone refered to as "the one" out there and that it was just a matter of time before I found that person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the past always have looked at people I´ve met as from the perspective "is he/she a potential partner or not" instead of seeing the being itself

I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress the part of me that is bisexual out of shame and fear of being judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for love to feel safe, secure, wanted, appreciated, seen, taken care of, protected and happy instead of realizing that none of that exists outside of me

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to desire to be in a relationship out of fear of having to be alone with me and to be self intimate with me and face me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that someone is attractive or not attractive

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have an image of what a potential partner should look like in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people by how they look and present themselves without realizing that what I see is just a picture presentation and not who they really are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and want anything or anyone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear judgment and shame

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myslef to feel,think and be emotional and by that living in and through my mind instead of who I really am as all as one in oneness and equality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I simply wasn´t good enough or pretty enough to get the partner I really wanted anyway since they would never dem me as good or pretty enough

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to see me as not as good as anyone else, or lacking in any way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare me to other beings such as - are they prettier than, me, sexier than me, more attractive than me, funnier, more intelligent than me etc instead of seeing the total mind fuck in that and realizing we are all one and equal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek partners that are older than me since I somehow found them more attractive, more experienced, more settled, more stable and capable of taking care of me instead of me realizing that I do not need anyone to take care of me

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be attracted to older men because of their perceived sexual experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be attracted to younger women because I found them physically more attractive and for desiring older women because they are apparently more experienced

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my father for my desire for relationship with older men, since I never had a father the way a father apparently should be and hence when desiring a realtionship with older men I am in reality looking for a father figure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame anyone or anything outside of me instead of me taking responsability for me and my life

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to actually believe it is possible to fall in love - it is not - it is just a mind created illusion and not real

Till here no further,. I do not accept or allow mind to direct me in any way or influence me in any way. I am life. I direct me. I am here. I am infite. I am breath