FEAR - self honesty

I just watched Andrews vlog caught in the act , and I suppose it could have been me sitting there..(well in a way it was lol)

because I´ve now got this blog going, I´ve also started a similar in swedish about process, and it has run through my mind as well, you know, some of the stuff I´ve put up would be like a smack in the gob to those people in my life concerned, and that I suppose is what makes me have any reaction when thinking about ANYONE reading what I have said.



But then again, its not really possible to hurt anyone, since if you hurt, you know you are of and within mind...

I cannot feel bad about being honest, I have to be honest, I cannot be anythin else, anything less than who I really am.

And then I wonder, if on some level maybe Im deceiving me- as if there is this fraction within me that I might have missed, that is self deceptive, and that I haven´t got to yet, and then it would be deceptive to claim I am honest. I suppose that has got to do with self trust issues.

I also wondered to myself, well , to transcend this fear of family seeing my process in all its glory, surely the best and most effective way of doing that would be to tell them, and send them a link to the blog. But then, yes I transcend that fear, but is this not my ego wanting to do that? Since the very act that I have put my process in public, and anyone can see it, surely that is statement in itself and in that I should be able to transcend that fear.

Hmmmm- am I mind fucking myself here??
Simplicity is the key and yet I seem to manage to get it complicated:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my family or relatives will see my blog out of fear of their reactions and judgements and fear of loss we are all one and equal, life in equality and oneness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that the idea of family , friends and realtives is a construct of mind, created to enslave and maintain fear and dependency and hence it´s all an illusion and not real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can forget, it is impossible for me as who I really am to forget anything

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to still allow fear within me - fear is an illusion - not real-who I really am can not experience fear

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to allow mind to tell me anything or to still influence me in any way - I am not my mind- nothing can influence me as who I really am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can complicate anything - all there is simply is - only mind can concieve complication

...to continue this evening...